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Thursday, October 21, 2010

Be Kind - All the Cool Kids are Doing It!


I recently read an interesting article in the Harvard Business Review entitled “Why is it So Hard to Be Kind”. The gist of the article was this: the author’s father had recently bought a new car, and while several dealers were cold and strictly business one went out of his way to be kind; including sending flowers to the hospital when the father fell ill during the process. His point was that this act of kindness was an anomaly in the business world, and his closing quote for the article (taken from Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos) was, “it's harder to be kind than clever.”

I thought about this for a while, and then I said to myself, “this guy has not spent much time in Guatemala.” I did not go to Harvard, and I have been removed from the American business world for some time now, but I know that in the Guatemalan campo the type of kindness that this article talks about is the rule, not the exception. Allow me to provide a couple examples…

I remember very clearly my first week in site. I felt a lot like a child might feel if he were to find himself lost on the streets of Manhattan – confused, scared to death and lonely. My third day in site happened to be my 25th birthday (the big quarter century mark), and I was sure that I was destined to celebrate it alone in my still unfurnished apartment - no cake, no presents, not even a hug.

I mentioned it to my counterpart in the morning, and he replied by asking me if I could help him carry some boxes to the bodega. I didn’t bring it up again. Then, at the end of the day, one of the other guys I work with, Don Bacilio, asked if I wanted to stop by his house for dinner. When I showed up I found a big bowl of caldo de gallina waiting for me and a sign on the wall that said, “¡Feliz Cumpleaños Tony!” Not only that, but there was a litro of Dorada Ice and a Magdalena cake for after dinner. This amazing family, that I barely knew, and that probably couldn’t really afford these extra expenses, went out of their way to make me feel welcome and make my quarter century birthday extra special. I will never forget this!

Another time, I fell ill and was out of work for a couple of days. A few days before we had done a taller where we learned a bunch of new ways to cook broccoli (anyone who knows Chilascó knows that we have an abundance of this wondrous green treat). In the training we had discussed how it was not only delicious, but also good for your health. Then, as I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself, I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find a group of women that had attended the taller. They had brought me a bag of broccoli. “Maybe this will make you feel better” they told me. It certainly did!

These are just a couple simple examples of the type of kindness that I have found to be ubiquitous in Guatemala. I am willing to bet that all of you could, on the spot, rattle off a handful of your own, similar stories. Stories where someone, unlike a car dealer who is trying to sell you something, selflessly went out of their way to do something for you, or to give you something, for one pure and simple reason: being kind is just the right thing to do.

I don’t care what Ivy League school a person attends, how much money they make, or how famous they may be, if they have not learned this basic tenet they are way behind Don Bacilio and my broccoli farming friends from Chilascó. And, if you, my friends and fellow volunteers, have picked up this little pearl of wisdom during your visit or service, then, no matter what else happens, your time here has been a success. For as Henry James once said, "Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind."

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